Meeting with Abdy and reconnecting with the Madonna-Magdalene
The Return of the Goddess
Around 60 of us gathered on a very hot and humid
Quietly, I sat and waited for my turn, and while I waited I asked myself what did I most want to experience. Of course, I already KNEW the answer. What I truly desired was to experience a deeper opening of my heart to the Divine Heart, to feel and allow the opening of my Sacred Heart to unconditional love, inner peace and acceptance and thus to Divine Spirit. So I sat and focused on that. And what kept coming into my mind was ‘how may I be of service, Goddess/God?’ repeated by the true me, my soul-self, over and over.
I watched and waited, silently chanting ‘may you be happy, may you be peaceful’ for a time and then that question began repeating itself from my heart to the Divine: ‘How may I be of Service?’ Soon Abdy came and pointed to me. I picked up my cushion and walked to the center of the room, where he took me in his arms and embraced me.
I have not often felt that kind of an embrace - the kind of embrace where a person truly opens their heart and soul to you. The kind of hug where you and they seem to melt into each other and you really feel and know that they are hugging you with unconditional love and Light - a divine hug in every sense as all barriers, all distinctions of separation, man and woman, man and man, woman and woman dissolve and you and the one you are holding truly become one being. I melted, dissolved and merged with the Divine in that moment.
As he embraces you, Abdy touches you on the third eye or throat or heart, not a gentle touch, rather firm and assured and, yes, to the point. I felt as though a huge current of energy was coursing through me. Then he focused on my necklaces before putting his other hand onto first my pentagram necklace and then onto the turquoise, coral and silver feather necklace I made, attuning and aligning them with the energy of the Divine too.
When I fell backwards into the catcher's arms, it was like floating. I felt so light and feather-like. I am not sure that I can adequately convey in words what happened once I was gently laid on the floor. I was aware of my body and its weight. I was aware of my mind and thoughts and their weight. I was aware of everyone else in the room. I was unable to move a muscle and had no desire to. I just lay there and felt - felt love, felt peace, felt joy, felt beauty, felt my heart break open and open and open and felt energy, divine loving healing uplifting energy, pour through my heart and into every part of me. I felt compassion fill my heart to overflowing and tears roll down my cheeks as loving compassion became who I AM and have always been and I remembered and my heart broke and I cried and embraced this precious gift being given to me.
The pain of my heart opening was exquisite and real. It hurt and yet it felt so good, such a relief to free myself from the shackles of not knowing and not really feeling. I have always thought of myself as a loving, generous and compassionate person and soul. My family and friends described me this way too. Well, there on the floor in that Hall I remembered what being unconditionally loving and loved and compassionate really feels like, and I was both ecstatically joyous and afraid that my heart-wrenching sobs would escape and somehow spoil the moment for myself and for those around me.
Then I heard, over and over and over, as my heart enlarged and expanded with the unconditional love and compassion pouring through me, my soul asking ‘how may I be of service to all and with/for Goddess/God?’ And the answer I heard, coming from my divine Self, was 'be the Madonna, you are the Madonna, be the unconditional love and compassion that you are. Be the Magdalene, you are the Madonna Magdalene'. I was reminding myself that I too am divine and that part of my role is to bring through the Divine Feminine in all Her aspects including that of the Mother - the Madonna - the Shekinah - the Feminine aspect of the Creator. Later, when I was back sitting on my chair, watching Abdy, I knew that I could do and had done what he was doing - reconnecting people with the Divine through loving healing compassionate touch.
After a time I felt like I was coming out of that other space - and how do I describe that space I was in? It was all space and no space and everything and no-thing - and I remember thinking ‘no, not yet please, not yet, there is more yet, please let him touch me one more time’ and tears flowing down my cheeks. As Abdy worked his way around the group, I was aware of where he was, so I was not really surprised when I opened my eyes with my request still in my mind, and he came over to me and then pressed his palm to my third eye once more and I was gone again – there, but not there, and grateful for the chance to finish my alignment with the Divine Heart, the Divine Spirit and Divine Will, with compassion and unconditional love.
I do not know how long I lay on the floor. Finally, I felt guided to get up and return to my seat. I was in a kind of cocoon or bubble of energy. After the Session I emailed Abdy to thank him for what he does: ‘Words do not adequately describe the outpouring and pouring-in of love which filled me. My heart, mind, body and soul were awash and afloat in unconditional love and compassion as I felt my Sacred Heart open wider and wider. I was aware of the interconnectedness between myself and every person I love and care for. I was acutely aware of their presence there with me in that Hall even though physically my family and friends are living elsewhere. I was aware of the love and interconnectedness of every being across and within Mother Earth and the Earth Mother Herself.’
I was aware across all levels of my Being of the love, the pure love without strings or conditions attached to it that the Divine has for each and every one of us, no matter how unworthy we may think ourselves to be.
The TRUTH is that we are all LOVED and that we are all DIVINE - each and every one of us is an embodied expression of Goddess/God on Earth and elsewhere. I was so aware of everyone and everything. I was part of everyone there and everything everywhere. I simultaneously felt like even the empty spaces around me were tangible and had substance and yet that everything had no substance. And I felt as though I was wrapped in cotton wool, but not in a fragile sense. It was more like there were no edges or boundaries between me or anyone or anything else; all that was not Light and love had dissolved. Everything was so connected. Everything flowed together in some kind of rhythmic dance of energy, and love was the glue, love and compassion. I sat on my chair and allowed compassion and love to flow freely through me.
Then I noticed that some people who were still lying on the floor, seemed to be really suffering and were thrashing about or had tears rolling down their faces as they sobbed with body-wrenching cries. My heart opened to them and I felt guided to get up and to be of Service. I went to those I was drawn to and laid my hands on their faces or heads or held their hands and allowed love and compassion to flow through me, giving them peace and love and support as guided by the Divine. A few opened their eyes and seemed reassured, then went back with greater ease to where they needed to be. Others stayed where they were, but now relaxed into the moment and experience, and still others let go and let love in. Yes, I could feel and sense some of what each experienced and my role was to be loving compassion, to assist them to allow themselves to BE all that they are. With each one I touched and channelled it was as though we became One.
And for each I did what I could to let them know that we do not have to suffer, because Jeshua did that for us 2000 years ago. Now, as He had shown me in a vision when He appeared before me in my room a couple of years ago, Jeshua wants all of us and Himself to be taken off the Cross. Goddess/God intends for us to enjoy life, not martyr ourselves to suffering it. I discovered while in that Hall with the Divine, Abdy and the others that when you are in that space of bliss, nirvana or enlightenment you KNOW without any doubt whatsoever that Goddess/God DOES NOT AND NEVER DID INTEND FOR US TO SUFFER. When you are in that space, the void, the womb of Creation, all you feel, all you know is PURE TOTAL UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND PEACE and a quiet acceptance of All That Is. And you float, you really do float in that space.
I am not sure how many I worked with. It was as though my body just floated to where I was guided to go. My hair felt like it became the veils of the Magdalene and the Madonna, and at times I could have used my hair to wipe the feet and faces of those I worked with as a gesture of love, honor and respect.
I continued to be guided to move around the group and work with whomever my heart felt drawn to. One was a lady who is passionate about life and lives it her way. Another was a person who seemed to be undergoing a huge cathartic experience that had her body twitching and flailing all over the place. Still another was a beautiful pagan looking woman who, when I went over to her, had tears flowing down her cheeks. I was guided to just gently stroke her cheeks and her hands in a loving and compassionate way.
When he had attended to everyone in the Hall, Abdy lay down on the floor and some went over and started doing healing for him. I so wanted to get up and go over and lay my hands on his feet - to touch him like I had not been allowed to touch Jeshua's while he hung on the cross, to send him my strength and love. Gathering up my courage I went and knelt down beside my friends and lay my hands along the soles of Abdy's feet. I felt as though my hands were burning - the energy pouring through them was so strong. It felt as though the energy flowing through melted us together, and I have noticed since then that when I do a healing with someone, that my hands, my Heart Chakra and my feet all seem to be burning with the energy that flows through. The heat seems to be dissolving the barriers between myself and those I work with. Even thinking or talking about anything to do with the heart or love or healing or compassion seems to be having this effect on me - my heart is breaking and opening and the experience continues to hold me in awe.
Finally, it was time for us all to come back. Then Abdy encouraged us to celebrate our experiences in whatever way we felt like. Many of us got up and danced and swayed to the music, and how much fun it was to be a woman and to celebrate with belly dancing. Then I embraced Abdy and thanked him for what he does.
When Abdy smilingly said farewell he looked at several people. When I had first seen him, I recognized him from the times of Jeshua, when I was an aspect of the Magdalene and he one of the disciples. Now, as he looked deep into my eyes I felt an incredible reconnection and recognition. A soul-deep understanding that we knew each other once more and that we will work together again. I looked around the Hall and saw that everyone was smiling and seemed to have a quiet radiance glowing about them to greater and lesser degrees.
My experience of the Divine Feminine flowing through me showed me that as we allow unconditional love and compassion to flow through and heal us, we are being given physical proof that we really are connected to the Divine Source, because you always feel unconditional love and compassion. Some of us may react with love and joy to the experience; others with fear, because they have not really experienced love without strings attached, but however we respond, we will and do know that we have been touched by it, because of the irrevocable impact it has on our hearts and the ways in which our physical minds and bodies react. In that Hall I was reminded too that we have the power to co-create our world, our universe and our lives through the conscious use of our free will. And that is what we were all doing there in the Trinity Church Hall in Woolloongabba, reconnecting with our own Divinity and that of the Universal Divine Feminine and Masculine as we bathed in the love of the Divine.
In love and peace, Lynn [Rainbow Starfire]
© 2004 Lynn Smith
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